Motivation Lacking

I believe I have been having trouble focussing on study for my Uni exams because I really am not convinced of my current direction. Today I wandered around the bushland near home and pondered on the situation. The only thing I concluded is that I don't know where I'm aiming in life. I have no particular direction.

Things have been fairly easy for me most of my life, I've worked hard but things have always been fairly straightforward. I did well enough in my final year of high school to be awarded a scholarship to attend Swinburne University and study Telecommunications Engineering/Computer Science. I have always been into technology and so I thought that was perfect.

For a while I have been contemplating the futility of the average middle class career. As a Christian I believe my life should bring some positive impact to my community. The book of Ecclesiastes reflects on the ultimate futility of life and concludes that "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone." I feel this gives me some guidance, in that whatever I do, a relationship with God is most important, however it really doesn't help me with study or career direction.

This year I have really tried to be involved in too many things. Commitments to Uni, Work and Church haven't left me enough 'down time'. After being very stressed over the last few months and the looming possibility failing a subject or two (and loosing the scholarship) I'm really starting to evaluate where I'm going. More to the point - where do I want to go?

Why

I really have no idea why I am creating this blog. I guess sometimes I get so trapped inside my head that writing some of my thoughts out may help me organise them and make better sense. Also its a good excuse for me to have a break from study.. Which is driving me nuts.